MV is actually going to get married, to that self-centered, arrogant toe-rag in July. I can’t stop the wedding thought I dearly want to. He’s going to give her a lifetime of misery and negligence. Of that, I’m a 100% sure. They’ve been together for 7 years and that’s most of what I’ve seen so far.
Love being blind is probably the oldest cliché but also, in this case completely true. I don’t get what she sees in him. My boyfriend choices have been hard to understand but to the best of my knowledge they’re decent human beings with a semblance of a brain. They may have cheated or made me feel like scum but despite all that, they were still ok people.
He’s not. After all this hanging out with him he doesn’t know the first thing about her family or her friends. He displays a lack of basic courtesy and respect around her family. He has however picked up that I can’t stand him, but it’s not like I’m very subtle. His best friend is a girl who totally has the hots for him. I would generally say that that’s her problem but I’ve known him to disappear post 1 am to her place and hang with her till the wee hours of dawn. I’m completely flabbergasted and mostly curious. He’s never had anything to say to us. With us, all he talks about is porn and the martial arts. I’ve never heard him offer opinions on anything.
He’s never made me laugh, how weird is that? I get that I’m already seriously biased against him but I’ve trained myself to be civil over the years. We can be in the same room and not throttle each other. Honesty forces me to say that if I had to take him on, he’d finish me before I even blinked. If nothing else I’ll give him that, he’s a good martial artist. Also, he has really cool weapons. I’m not sure if they’re legal here or not, but they are hot!
He expects his will to be done all the time which is another bone of contention between us. I usually get my way and I like it like that. When he’s around he whines and usually gets his way… I think. We usually try very hard to not be in the same place at the same time. He forces his will on MV too, all the time. They only do what he wants, go where he wants etc and what annoys me the most is that she is ok with it.
You know initially I thought I was jealous. Of their togetherness, of their ‘can’t function without the other’ feeling and the whole, ‘he lights up when she walks into the room’ and vice versa. And I was ok with being jealous, it’s healthy and I can move past it… eventually.
But then it dawned that I was not jealous just supremely annoyed that she’d allowed herself to completely give in to him. A lot of books describe being in love as a 3 person thing, Him, Her and Them. With MV, I think I’ve always dealt with Them even when He wasn’t around… it was hard work to get to Her. The Her who has been my friend since we were what, 13 or thereabouts…
Sometimes I still wonder if all this hostility isn’t because of the fact that they were for a while, the only people I met up with and it was always 5 of us. Two couples and me; neither of them are very inclusive, if you know what I mean. I hang out with SuRi all the time and with other married friends of mine and with them I get a, ‘you’re family too’ vibe. That’s never been the case with the four of them. I tend to completely withdraw from such a situation and then I can be a hard person to deal with. For a while I would only hang out with them only if I knew that I would be very inebriated by the end of it.
(I outgrew that)
If this is my subconscious’ way of telling me that I’m secretly terrified of being single for the rest of my life well, I consider it a complete betrayal. All anyone needs to survive is money. I want lots of it. Power and fame is ok but I’d rather be an anonymous billionaire many times over than a known and powerful millionaire. My problem is that I haven’t figured out how I’m going to get there. Since I haven’t figured this out yet, I’m pretty certain that any relationship I attempt while figuring it out is going to die. Simply because I’ve no idea what I want. The one thing I am certain of is that I don’t want to trample on people while figuring it out, or be trampled upon either.
Does that make sense?
The thing I was going for I quit. Too far and I can’t afford it anymore. I’ve other responsibilities.
I digress. What was I on about? Ah… Him…
I think that maybe the reason I so totally hate Him is because he’s not what I look for in a boyfriend or even a friend or acquaintance for that matter. I consider him shallow and stupid and the fact that my friend could be in love with him anyway, sort of reduces my opinion of her. There I said it. I’m equally worried about the fact that sometimes she talks about him like a feral child she’s experimenting on. What if the experiment does not work out?
The reason I’m even getting all this out of my system is so that I can genuinely try to be happy for them, actually her, no, them… whatever. I do not want to be the sour-faced, eccentric-looking (it’s going to happen, I can feel it), bridesmaid at the wedding. I don’t want to be miserable and mopey and bitchy to everyone at the wedding. I don’t want to withdraw and space out for the day. I want to have a good time and if I can achieve that sober, I’ll be very proud of myself. If not sober, then I’ll settle for smashed but well-behaved…
Shit, I have to wear heels. I’m clumsy and am perfectly capable of tripping over my bare feet so I have no idea how I’m going to do this. Also I did seriously consider a dress-type thing for the evening, but it’s completely beyond me. Technically, I’ve a number of things to worry about so I should get through this.
I have no control. I know that. I can’t force her to marry the Doc I think would be perfect for her. I can’t force her to change the way she is. And I can’t change him to be somebody I like. They’re both adults and are capable of making their own decisions. More importantly, they’re capable of living with the consequences of their decisions. I can’t live their lives for them and my opinion is just that; mine. I’m letting go… Please, please, please help me let go.
*exhale*
And then she calls to tell me that she’s not meeting me tonight cause She and Him are going to have sex instead… there is a thing such as too much information…
ball & chain…
i am the eggman…they are the eggmen…I am the walrus…koo koo ka choo…
**Eric Burdon (of the Animals) stated in his biography that he is the Egg Man. It seems he told John Lennon of a sexual experience which involved an egg (!) After that, John called him the Egg Man **
You have to watch Across The Universe if you already haven’t. It is bloody awesome and yes I’m aware it was out in 2006. It’s a Julie Taymor movie and the woman is a genius… she did Freida with Salma Hayek and then took The Lion King to Broadway. Her rendition was actually voted as a life changing experience by TIME or somebody… She is who I wanna be when I grow up.
Anyway, the movie is a Beatles-based musical and there’s this actress called Dana Fuchs <!> (that is her name) who sings ‘Don’t let me down’ just so brilliantly… She’s supposed to be a avatar of Janis Joplin in the movie and man, with her vocals and the hair, she totally nailed it. You know, given that there is a Jude, and a Lucy and a Prudence etc you’d think that the movie would get a little trying, but it’s amazing…
*‘I am the Walrus’ is sung by Bono in the movie.*
I do not think Evan Rachael Wood is all that but then again, I guess I’m really not supposed to. I thought that Jude (Jim Sturgess) was cute in a very Beatles way… he fits the role to a T.
Brian Epstein the manager of The Beatles was gay and can you imagine being him? I mean he’s gay and he manages The Beatles. In their heyday, John, Paul, George and Ringo were cute and talented and funny and charming and were anybody’s dream date. Poor chap…
I saw The Watchmen and I think that they did as good a job as they possibly could. I also switched allegiance from Doctor Manhattan who with his bluish aura and very soft-spoken mannerisms completely annoyed me. Rorschach on the other hand is such a black or white personality that he’s slightly scary but, the man’s got balls!!! A-chi saw the movie in Singapore and apparently they saw ‘all’ of Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup who is totally hot) and a lot more gore than I did.
The Rise of the Lycans is here, dunno if I’m going to watch it, Underworld Evolution was such a disappointment. I saw The Changeling and the movie bloody freaked me out. I know that it was based on the Chicken Coop Murders but actually watching the violence completely unnerved me. I took about 3 ciggy breaks in between much to the amusement of those I was watching it with.
I saw Jaane Tu Ya Janne Na. Whatte a bloody waste of time. Man, I was so bored through the movie & the climax was especially excruciating. Vicky Christina Barcelona was better but not by much. Javier Bardem was the only good thing about the movie. He’s so hot… sigh… I saw this totally aimed at the Brit Adolescent movie called, Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging. Arrrgh!
I read Persepolis. I didn’t love it and I don’t think it deserves all the hype. I mean, in my opinion, its ok. Better that ok even, but not as brilliant as everybody makes it out to be. I think the point of all the hype is that the author was from Iran and writes about the downfall of the Shah followed by ascent of the current regime. I get how that could be intriguing, but it’s really not all that.
The folks are off from Maundy Thursday and back on Easter Sunday. I’m staying with A-Chi. The good thing is that I have the keys and can go home if I feel like it. I can even entertain. But since I live so far and given that Mishty has exams, I doubt that anything will actually happen unless of course, the inanimate stuff in my house comes to life and throws a gala party. Which would be cool, don’t you think? Or maybe my books could all just dust themselves off and arrange themselves in height order. Sigh. I need to clean.
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Damn, the weekend is now over. It was soaked in alcohol. It feels good though to be doing this (the binging on alcohol), after such a long (ish) time. Unfortunately, SuRi met with an accident… again. They are so jinxed, it’s scary. They took Su’s car to Gokarna and even hired a driver who then fell asleep behind the wheel. They didn’t have their RC book with them and also, neither of them speaks Kannada, so they were kinda screwed. Except it wasn’t all bad, they went on and called me from Gokarna completely smashed which made the whole world brighter again. It was a very drunk Ri who called me & our conversation was hilarious. He had no idea what he was saying & I was (sober) desperately trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
Also, I hung out with these boys, one of who has a thingy for A-chi. Gawd! These were stoner-boys and the one with the hots for A-chi was so bloody annoying! I was this (||) close to hurting him physically. I think I took out my frustration by being rude to everyone around me. Or so A-chi will tell you but I swear I wasn’t trying to be nasty at all… Apparently I naturally sound that way. There was a cute lawyer with a Jolly Roger tattooed on his calf but I’m thinking I didn’t really make a favourable impression. Damn!
You know, sometimes I just totally zone out when I’m with a group of people. I care not how rude it appears; I just happily space out or start messaging other people. It’s weird; I can switch off even when I’m trying desperately to stay clued in. Not that I was trying this time. Every now and then, especially when I’m in a group, I tend to wish I was somewhere else and with another group of people. It’s not that the other people are more fun or anything like that. I just can’t seem to help myself from wandering… I hate that I do that but I can’t seem to control it.
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I’ve discovered that I really like the hair-bands… every time I’m a little blue all I need to hear is something like Poison’s ‘Every Rose has its Thorn’ or Whitesnake’s ‘Is This Love’… maybe what I’m actually into is the power ballad. ‘Drive’ by the Cars is an awesome song. Ever tried to sing along? I love doing that every now and then. It was one of my joys when I lived alone. You can sing as loudly and as badly as you want. Now I’ll probably have to sing into a pillow or something. Despite my love for music, I cannot carry a tune. I’m really not sure what I was thinking when I auditioned for the MCC choir… that too with a Bette Midler song… I sang with SMP. She can sing. I think she totally covered for me. When a little drunk and after umpteen cigarettes, I can do a passable Janis Joplin. By that I mean I don’t completely suck and I can only sing ‘Mercedes Benz’. ‘Me and Bobby McGee’ is a little harder to come by but I do attempt it. The other song I like to sing is Beautiful South’s ‘Dream a Little Dream’. One song I can nail after years and years of singing it over and over again is Meredith Brooks’ ‘Bitch’. It used to be an anthem of mine… almost my theme song. KMV insists I accompany him every time he plays the piano… I’m not sure why… I massacre Simon & Garfunkel frequently and about the only thing I could maybe almost pull off is Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’.
*Did you know that Leonard Cohen used to date Janis Joplin?*
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Is it sad that I’m looking for pictures of dessert on Google Images? I’ve a sudden craving for pancakes and maple syrup… I totally and completely HEART pancakes… I like them with just about anything, maple syrup, honey, melted jam… it all yummmm J
Every Easter my family goes a little mad. Our dining table has every kind of meat on it and the whole thing is kinda gross. I get it, you fasted and but to make up for a mere 40 days of fasting on one day, heck for one meal, is a bit over the top… Does anyone need more than one type of meat at a single meal? There was not only more than one kind of meat but different varieties of the same meat. I’m not against meat, far from it, I love a steak every now and then, but Easter excess is too much for me to handle.
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I love this picture of Bo, the Obamas’ First Dog sticking his tongue out!!!! He’s adorable… I’m a dog person. I’ve nothing against cats; in fact I was even in love with one. A sleek, black and handsome Tom who was very fittingly called Casanova. He’d come into my room, make himself very comfortable in my bed sometimes, even on my back and after a lot of purring, he’d just suddenly leave. No hissing, no fussing, but he’d always make sure to destroy my bookshelf. I think he was jealous or something… I don’t talk about it much; it’s still all fresh and traumatic… This is why dogs will always be the true love of my life. They’re so incredible, like Christmas gifts in furry packages. Cats are my one-night-stands; my heart will always belong to a dog.
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I think it is now time to retire the eyebrow piercing. I took it off but put it back on because I began to feel a little naked without it. So, this year I’ve decided to take it off for good after my birthday. Realistically, how long was I going to hang onto it anyway?
Big Love
Do you have that one particular song that makes you want to grab the nearest person of the opposite sex (or the same sex) and just snog the face off that person? Bob Marley’s ‘Turn your lights down low’ is that song for me… Have I ever made out to it? Of course not! I have however, made out to ‘The Real Slim Shady’ in a club named X. (I kid you not)
I’ve never really been bothered by PDAs, as a participant or as a spectator… I’ve done some serious making out in Pecos, Noon Wines… all over Bangalore coming to think of it. (Bloody hell!) And there’s this one particularly memorable episode where the Party & I sort of made out at the boys place; with 2 boys + 1 girl present. I’m still embarrassed about that. I couldn’t look the Ponytail in the eye for a whole day after that.
I digress… what was I on about? Ah yes, the song that makes you want to snog and its sad substitutes. Actually, at the time of aforementioned incident, when the opening bars of music played, if I remember correctly, we came up for air, smiled and then kind of went for each other again (with “May I have your attention please?” in the background) and my toothactually bust open his lower lip… (Just a little bit)
Now that’s hickey you can’t hide. a purple bruise on you lip which is split open but not like when you’re in a fight. (Do not ask me how I know the difference). I realize its very 16 years old of me but I loooove hickeys; also called lovebites, monkey-bites and my favourite, a shag-tag! (Wikipedia has a page on this, how amazing is that?!)
When I did live alone, I could get all the bites I wanted. Now, if I do indulge they will have to be in place that the general public does not see. Which is not a big deal for me, I mean I’m a very modest dresser, almost always fully covered up. (Have I ever told you that I loathe the cold? The minute the temperature drops, I can totally feel it). But definitely no vampire type bites which are my personal favourite…
I totally want to go to Transylvania and check out Count Dracula’s castle. I used to be a huge Buffy fan and I loved the episode where she met Dracula… Anne Rice’s vampires are okay, I get the lushness of the writing and all that, but they’re not like… Spike or Angel… The only vampire from the Vampire Chronicles I was intrigued by was Marius de Romanus. This whole Twilight thingy is crap. I mean, vampires are supposed to be more hardcore than Edward Cullen which is why I’ve only read the summary of the books on Wikipedia (All hail Wikipedia!) I totally refuse to read the actual book. My cousin sisters are totally in love with the series though. They get all dreamy-eyed and are totally looking for a vampire and a werewolf (Edward Cullen & Jacob Black) boyfriend. I don’t mean hardcore gothic though: That would freak them out completely. Kids!
They did this special on the X-Files yesterday… I loved the show. The music was and still is amazing. It did its job well: I still get creeped out when I hear it. My favourite episodes were the ones featuring Eugene Victor Tooms one and the one with all the clones called Eve… The later seasons weren’t as consistently brilliant as the first 2 seasons, but they did have their moments… And the whole chemistry between Mulder and Scully was brilliant, stretched taut and totally sucked me in. Man that was good TV…
I totally love the Jonas Brothers. Yes, yes, I know, but bite me, yeah? I’m allowed my little guilty pleasure… I love the Lovebug song; it has this bit where they’ve used a tap dance to substitute percussion and I think it’s totally amazing… Even in the soundtrack to Atonement, the sound of the typewriter with the piano was pretty neat. I’m also thrilled that Take That are back together… I fell in love with them when I was in school and you know what they say, you never forget your first love… Have you heard ‘Paper planes”? The singer, MIA is Sri Lankan and the song is amazing I love the gunfire and sounds of a cash register in the song. Also love the Estelle and Sean Paul song… (It could be my make-out song #2!)
New Years was really peaceful. I was at Mak’s place where we had a bonfire and barbeque. The beef was a little burnt and we also burnt the bread, but the chicken… oooh that was perfection. For entertainment, we watched Deep Throat. It’s bloody funny but I only saw about 20 minutes of it. The repeated sex got to me. I didn’t manage to get very inebriated which completely sucks. I wasn’t even buzzed mildly. My Dominatrix was the first person who wished me (the couples were er, wishing each other and meaning it). I was so thrilled to hear from them… Our bonfire was small but perfect! I’m a fire person. I looooove fires… I’m not pyro or anything, I just like fire.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince releases this year. I honestly don’t understand why I watch the Harry Potter movies, I don’t particularly like them but I’ve seen them all. And I’m definitely going to watch this one… it’s going to be released in a part 1 & 2 format. Now that they have more time, and twice the money the make, I want to see if they finally do justice to the book.
GI Joe is also going to hit theaters later this year. I loved GI Joe as a kid. My favourite Joe was Spirit, the native American. For whatever reason, I also really liked Zartan and the twins, Tomax and Xamot. Yes, I know they were COBRA operatives. But the true love of my life was Flint. [Sigh+Drool] He was so rugged and macho and such a gentleman he totally stole my 11 year old (I think) heart. He is my dream boyfriend. That Lady J was one lucky woman! I think in the movie he’s played by Dennis Quaid which I definitely do not approve of. They should’ve gotten someone who’s more of a stud. You know, Flint was also a bit of an arsehole which explains a lot. About my taste in men, I mean. Make of that what you will…
I’ve been writing this post since before Christmas! I don’t do this stuff at home. God forbid I forget to log off and my folks discover it. I definitely do not want them to see this blog… EVER!
<apologies i realise this is an old post but i sorta lost this one somewhere. just found it so i fugured what the hell, putting it up anyway>
tequila!!!
It’s so bloody hot here. I can take the heat but it’s getting easier day-by-day to forget that you live in Bangalore. I mean, this was heaven in summer and even more so in winter. These days you swelter and then freeze to death lightly covered in slush from all the rain. When I lived alone I walked around in very little & seriously contemplated moving my bed into the bathroom which was cooler… I was actually lucky, as the place I lived in had really high ceilings so when I went out for coffee I was taken aback by the actual temperature outside.
In the flat now, we face whichever direction that the sun generally hangs out at. My kitchen is like an oven. My room is worse. My bed is under the window and in winter, I thought it was charming that as I slept, I was dappled in winter sunshine. Now, I just burn. The bloody curtains don’t help. The sun’s rays are like Superman’s x-ray vision.
I think I might lose my job. Like I said previously, being in a superfluous department in a corporate means that apparently we have no financial responsibilities and that the minute they ‘let us go’, money will start raining in our bathrooms till we find the next job. I mean, it’s bad enough that I’m underpaid in the first place, but this is outrageous! I knew I should’ve never sold my soul to evil corporations.
I’m looking for a new job just in case. The one I like is in bloody Delhi. That’s far away from Bangalore, no over-nights back home. And the weather, it’ll totally kill me. All that heat followed by all that cold. The heat I can sorta live with, but the cold will kill me. And it was always an unsafe city for women, so I’ve been told over and over again… sigh. But Delhi is where my dominatrix is, along with other nice people. Also, Joe comes to Delhi all the time so that’s a good thing.
I live like a bloody saint these days. Any sinning that I could indulge in is all the way over at the city. That’s far away. I get exhausted just thinking about going all the way there. Which is weird, I go for class every weekend and never think twice about it. But for the purpose of having a good time, getting into the city is unimaginable. (Ack! What’s happened to me?)
I think that maybe I’ll wind up to be one of those people who like misery. I like the doom and gloom and the occasional self-indulgent tears. Unfortunately, I also lose my temper a lot these days. This is new. Previously, I was slow to actual anger. So with the crying there’s the screaming. Except that I don’t really scream, I’m more of a quite anger type of girl.
I’ve taken to playing Pac-man at work. It’s taught me an important life lesson: I should probably never drive. I’ve terrible hand-eye coordination.
Would it be very wrong to kinda string someone along only because he’s big and tall? There’s this big, tall, ok-looking Punjabi dude asked me out. We have nothing in common but I’m also equally sure (for once) that he like-likes me. I really don’t want to encourage this. I mean, he’s all nice and sweet and an all-round good boy plus he is tall and big, but I’m not at all romantically interested. [Coming to think of it, it’s been a while since I was romantically interested in anyone]. He’s new here and thinks I can be knightess in shining armour who knows people and places in Bangalore and take him to said places and introduce him to said people. Something that I honestly am not inclined to doing but I love the attention…
I want a dog. A nice big Great Dane who I’ll name something completely ridiculous like Sugar or Pooh-bear or something like that.
I went for this absolutely amazing play 2 weekends ago. It was written by the cousin of a friend, who is hugely talented. It was 2 monologues and the first one was hilarious. It was so simple in idea but so amazingly written and enacted. It was about your everyday superhero. By that I mean people who have this ‘thing’ that has the potential to save the day; your day.
The second one I didn’t like too much, it was this girl talking through the death of a friend which just made me uncomfortable. The character is sorting through the deceased’s music including LPs, tapes, and CDs along with mp3s on the computer.
Looking at those ‘Records of a Lifetime’ I felt like a fool for giving away my tapes. I had so many. When I was leaving to my Grandparents place, I gave them all to my Supposed Future Hubby, (like supposed former infatuation junkie: I thought it was smart at the time) for safekeeping. I don’t think even he knows what he did with all those things. Some of them were awesome though.
There was this little study-type room in my old apartment. It was the biggest small junk yard ever, there were so many things there. My Mum used it to dry clothes. Since the window wouldn’t shut, the pigeons used the loft-like space as their personal restroom as did my dog when he was feeling ignored and unloved. I found this mixed tape which had on it, about 20 (I think) songs, all of which were names of women! Susannah by the Art Company, Oh Carol by Smokie, Dear Prudence by the Beatles etc. it was brilliant. I knew that my Dad couldn’t have put that tape together even if I did find it in his drawer. When I asked him, he didn’t even know it existed. We still don’t know how that tape came to be there.
There are some embarrassing albums in that collection too. Like Alisha’s ‘Made in India’ and Apache Indian’s ‘Nuff Vibes’ I think it was called. Both, by the way was bought by each of my parents but ended up with me. I also had Mariah Carey’s Music Box, the one with ‘Dream lover’ and ‘Hero’ on it… I now wish I’d hung onto all of them…
I’ve either given away or lost so many CDs over the years. This friend was both appalled and amused that I still actually went out and bought CDs in this day of illegal mp3 downloads. The same fate has met quite a few of my books as well. I had so many Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys books. I think that was where I first realized that people could make out in books because Nancy and Ned got plenty cozy during her cases. Until then ( I was 9 or 10 years old) I didn’t know that stuff could be actually put on paper. Technically, I didn’t really know about stuff. Period. So it was an education… via Nancy Drew who’d have thunk!
A-chi’s coming down on Friday, yay!!! We’re planning to get very drunk. Also, I’m giving her my phone for the duration of the alcohol chugging so I don’t do anything stupid.
Hey I might post this while very smashed… which completely negates having my phone taken away from me…
** I’m hungover & mostly happy…**
<wink wink> (you know who you are)
Pablo honey….
This recession sucks. I hate that jobs are in danger and I positively loathe the fact that I’m in a department that isn’t really important. After advertising, marketing, and recruitment we’re next in line to get the axe.
Sometimes I think I should just find myself a rich man and scheme and manipulate my way into financial security and marriage. As fun as that sounds, it’s completely terrible, I mean come on, where’s my pride? (Snoozing, we’re both very tired, at least she gets to sleep.)
Bills bills bills… umm, is that a Destiny’s Child song? It is, ain’t it? Have you heard En Vogue? They were brilliant; they’re the girlies who sang ‘Whatte Man’ which used to be the song for the Phil Donahue show. ‘My lovin’ also by them is one of my all-time favourite fun songs…
Ohmigosh!!!! Remember him? I very vaguely do. He’s was a very benign looking chap with glasses who ran around the stage and his studio audience a lot. I remember this one show where he was interviewing men who said that they had slept with ore than a 100 women… or maybe it was 500 or something… Anyway, there was this Latin-lover type guy onstage with long black hair that he’d let loose and I kept thinking that it was so unfair that he had such lovely hair when I’m so deprived… Some of the prettiest ad-worthy eyelashes I’ve seen are on men!!!! WTF? Would you swoon if your boyfriend batted his lashes at you? It’s just so unfair!
I’m doing this thing. By which I mean I’ve joined this class where I’m the only girl. It’s funny. When a new instructor comes in, he never knows what to do with me. My actual instructor though is a terror. He makes sure I do almost everything the guys do. What’s funny is that when at class I take off my glasses so I can’t really see very clearly which such a blessing in disguise!!!!! I mean, I like well-put together boys, but seeing how they achieve that is horrible. And before you say it, I’m very glad you don’t see me at class either. Firstly I look perpetually quizzical because I can’t see properly and on top of that I’m huffing and puffing like one of those little squeaky toys. It’s not pretty. I really should consider giving up the smokes.
Since it’s been a while, Happy Valentines Day to all who care. I did nothing. I sat at home moaning and groaning and not because I was having fun. When you take up physical activity after years of having last moved your arse, your body is very far from happy. I was in such agony; I could barely hold the remote control!! Seriously!!!!
There’s this Antonio Benderas movie based on this book that I just finished called, the Mambo Kings Play Songs of Love by Oscar Hijuelos. It won the Pulitzer in 1990 and is about the mambo, and meringue and bolero music that was huge in America during roughly around the 1960s. I’ve heard samplings of the music on various websites they’re amazing!!!! Some of the book is based in Cuba before and just after Castro. Also, I think that some of the story is based on Desi Arnaz of “I Love Lucy” fame. I say that cause having read the book I looked up Arnaz and the stories are similar…
I currently have a gap-toothed smile which is very far from charming. I’m in the midst of a multitude of dental procedures. I like my dentist: He’s quick with a shot. I like shots: A bit of pain (which I have no problem with), in the beginning, and that’s it, you don’t feel a thing afterwards. In fact, the entire region goes numb and it only comes back to life after a couple of hours or so. You know that pins and needles feeling? When it’s on your face, it feels quite nice.
I saw Delhi 6 and Gajini. The first sucked, and the other one was ok. The music for both was nice. And I still haven’t seen Slumdog Millionaire. They had this special screening of ‘The curious case of Benjamin Button’ before the Oscars and I didn’t see that either. I really really wanted to see “He’s Just Not That Into You”. This friend of mine gave me the book and I love Jennifer Aniston. (And, I think John Mayer is adorable!) Those are my only reasons to want to see it so badly…
I like watching awards shows. I only got to see the Oscars this year. I missed the Grammys *sniff*. I loved Kate Winslet’s speech as well as the guy who won for Best Original Screenplay. I thought Hugh Jackman rocked! But that could be just me, he’s so hot. I cannot wait for X Men Origins: Wolverine
I am always so sleepy…
ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Circle in the sand
So, my folks are coming back into the city. I’m actually going to move back in with them. It makes sense given that they’re moving into an apartment that is a stones’ throw away from my office. While I love that I won’t have to worry about my laundry or my groceries (or the lack of them), the loss of my freedom feels like I’m losing my baby. I’m so used to doing anything, at any time and anywhere without having to ask for permission or even really caring about how anyone feels about what I’m doing. That is obviously going to change. I mean, with my Mum, as long as we share a house she’ll worry about where I am every time I leave the nest. All this time, she really didn’t know any better so she let me be.
Then there’s a tattoo that’s been re-worked. It’s a little bigger and more visible. Usually, I’m Miss Modesty and am always in jeans or salwars so my ankle does not show. This worked as long as I was only visiting home. But living with parents, there are so many ways that it can be discovered. I’m 26 & I don’t need their permission or approval but listening to them go on and on will drive me insane. Absolutely no extra-curricular activities. No booze, no smokes (sob!), no weed, no nothing. No going out for coffee at 11:00 pm, or running off to Nandi Hills at 1:00 am. No having friends over, no sleepovers, no spending entire weekends in bed…
On the plus side;
- I’ll have my Mommy & Daddy with me.
- I get home-cooked food
- Someone to fuss over me when I get sick
- I’ll have my oven & I can become this total baking fiend! (I already have recipes I want to try)
- I’m hoping I can convince them to get a dog
- No responsibilities!!!!!
*Sigh*
What sucks is that they’re going to be here before Christmas. I hate Christmas. I like to spend it in my room getting a little drunk all by myself. But they’ll be here, so no indulging my Scrooge self.
Therefore, my resolution is to party as hard as I can till they get here. So far, so-so; I mean I haven’t been completely living it up like I can, but I haven’t been only sitting at home. My Diwali rocked!!! Got smashed, burst crackers & all that, but this time wasn’t as amazing as the last.
The Rock star is in town. We had an interestingly awkward meeting. I had breakfast with him & his girlfriend. She was wearing next to nothing and cooked, while I sat at the table and talked a mile a minute. It was a surrealistic experience. She’s sweet though and so totally mad about him. They’re this very Valentine’s Day Hallmark card couple.
It’s weird the way life’s been lately. I’ve 3 friends trying to hook me up with their exes. Why? I wouldn’t want to hook any of my friends with anyone I’ve been with. Not because either of the parties are horrible people or anything like that, but simply because, if I’ve been with a person, and it didn’t work out & we parted ways, that was where it ended. I know I’m in touch with all my ex-boyfriends but it’s not like we’re setting each other up or anything like that. I am not understanding this urge to set me up with the person;
- Who you were a bitch to
- Was a bitch to you, or
- Who made you cry.
I’d never do that to you why would you do that to me? Besides I know all the details of your relationship. Think!
It’s just plain weird…
*Sigh*
I saw ‘Dostana’. John Abraham’s hot!!!! I never knew. He started off as a Gladrags model remember? I’m a die hard Milind Soman / Arjun Ramphal fan. So Johnny-boy never really caught attention. Funny how a tiny bit of D & G underwear can change all that!! The movie’s crap though. The apartments, clothes and shoes are the only reasons to watch the movie.
A-chi called me from Singapore yesterday & we were on the phone for 4 bloody hours!!! We talked about everything; especially school. I had gone to lunch with friends from school last weekend. It was an unofficial reunion celebrating (NOT!) the fact that it’s been 10 years (sob!) since we left school. It was fun. I had people tell me how I look the same, talk the same and am generally am the same person they remember. Apparently I’m remembered as notorious, bubbly and as a good listener (!) I never knew. By the time lunch came around, I was all thrilled and loving the world…
I’m doing the whole running around in Circles thingy again… I really need to snap out of it. I like circles though. Everything of importance is circular… The globe, the wheel, the planets…
I’m rambling again…
I can’t believe they let Obama win! I’m so thrilled. A couple of days before they announced the results Bill Clinton & Obama took the stage together; that picture got me so hot! Moving on…
I love the Sam Sparro song, ‘Black & Gold’. I also kinda dig ‘Womanizer’ by Brittney Spears (tee-hee). Beyonce’s ‘If I was a Boy’ reminds me of something I can’t put my finger on… it’s annoying me that I can’t place what it is about the song. She sounds terribly like she’s singing in a church choir though. Don’t you think?
My friend got married last weekend. I was so bored at the wedding. The only redeeming feature of the entire wedding was SP. She looks good & I’d forgotten how funny she can be.
It’s been wall-to-wall nostalgia of late…
“Sleeping in my car, I will aggress you… Sleeping in my car, I will caress you… staying in the back seat of my car making love… uh huh” It’s in my ears right now, yay Radio Indigo! This is such a fun song. Makes me wish I had a car; and not to drive around in…
you know you’re right…
I can’t get this song out of my head. I actually even hear it in my sleep!!! You’ve seen the video? It was released posthumously and shows kurt cobain in drag with a tiara-type thingy on his head. This is going to sound weird to you, but I think he looks hot in drag… I’ve never been a huge die-hard Nirvana fan but this song, I love. I’ve no idea why… {Please to be checking my status picture on gmail, I found nice painting of it. }
So I’m changing jobs again… (Shhh, no comment allowed) Same company, different department. I’m ok with the move, except now I’ll have to give up my current room and move to Koramangala. I’m going to move in with my ex-roomie, or at least I hope to. I don’t think I should live alone anymore. I get bored and when I’m bored enough I end up doing seriously stupid things… I’ve what Mishty tells me is a High Risk Behaviour Pattern: That means that I can be unnecessarily reckless and overly impulsive and then indulge in behaviour that could have serious consequences which I will regret later….
Psychologists… I tell you.
The White Tiger won… I read it & at that time it crossed my mind that it definitely had the potential to win… (See, I do know I’m right!) (Sorry, moving on) I didn’t luurve it… It was interesting. The point of this paragraph is that I want to win the Booker Prize. What on earth would I write about though? Think about it, how does one start? If I wrote a book, I’d like to do a Jhumpa Lahiri: i.e., begin with a volume of short stories… I use the word ‘begin’ in all its grandeur but honestly, I haven’t a clue.
Just random stuff about me:
1. I don’t do romance. I like the idea of it but when physically presented to me, I recoil from romantic situation and wish to be someplace else. If it’s over the phone or via e-mail, I blush and am all thrilled and I’ll think about it endlessly but in person, I totally die.
2. I’m weird. Not cutely quirky. Just plain weird.
3. My friends are… err… opinionated. They can be rude and nasty if they don’t like you. Since I’m the same around their friends, I really cannot see attitudes changing.
4. I daydream a lot. I also worry a lot.
5. I’m an open book. I hate that about me, I swear. Everyone knows what I’m thinking. I can’t keep a secret about me. I know that sounds weird but every time I have news, I have to tell someone or I go insane.
6. I oscillate between being a pig and a seriously anal, OCD cleanliness freak.
7. According to popular opinion, I come across as either a snob or a ditz the first time I meet anyone. (I’m neither, thank you very much 
)
8. I can get very animated when happy or excited about something. I can’t seem to stop my hands from flailing all over the place or control the slightly breathless screech that takes over my normal voice.
9. At any one point, I’m all over the place and have many different things going on in my head so I tend to jump about when I’m having a conversation with someone. It gets on peoples’ nerves, I’m told.
10. I get really fidgety and talkative when insecure or nervous. When I’m supposed to do a presentation in public, I get hysterical. I’m all nervous laughter, and shaking hands.
I’ve decided that my next tattoo will…. err… be. Gosh, that sounds so lame. I’m thinking I want something written; in Tengwar. Yes, yes I’m a geeky loser but hey, it makes me happy. I just need to figure out what I want written… Shakespeare? A shloka? (I know the one) Or maybe something supremely stupid and anyway, it’s not like people are going to know what it is until I tell them…
Other tattoo ideas;
· A feather (I like what their significance in Native American culture, except, I’m not one of the People)
· A turtle cause I think they are cute
· Stars… everything magic has stars
· Lace pattern… something I saw online… some designer’s collection… he had random strips of lace all over the place & it was totally hot ( I think it was Karl Lagerfeld for Channel)
· The butterfly on my phone cause I’ve never seen it anywhere else
· The Saint…. remember the movie? The little pin he gives her or she gives him, a stick figure with a halo… I think its cute but kinda blasphemous given that I’m thinking of tattooing it on me
· Hmmm… this is kind of sad, but a li’l tiny heart but it’s a lil too cute even for me
Am open to suggestions
I saw Body of Lies… Whatte waste of time, I say. The only redeeming features of the movie were the comic relief provided by Russell Crowe’s character and the guy who plays the head of the Jordanian intelligence. He’s kind of hot. But otherwise the movie was sooo predictable and boring… Please not to be wasting your time watching it…
Ack! Saw “Anything but Love” starring Mandira Bedi and Samir Soni last night. The play was good, but I was there with my Dad. I wanted to die. All the jokes were innuendoes and I got all of them; as did my Dad. Wasn’t sure if I should laugh or just melt into my seat… When he suggested we leave at half time I was more than happy to do so. Samir Soni isn’t as tall as I thought he’d be but he is still quite nice-looking…
Sigh….
calling elvis…
Calling Elvis
Is anybody home?
Calling Elvis
I’m here all alone
Did he leave the building
Or can he come to the phone
Calling Elvis
I’m here all alone
Well tell him I was calling
Just to wish him well
Let me leave my number
Heartbreak Hotel
Oh love me tender
Baby don’t be cruel
Return to sender
Treat me like a fool
You know who you are.
I hate that like the song, I really want to believe that you’ll call someday and we’ll be able to pick up from where we were.
I want that more than anything and I hate that I want it at all…
Sigh
That however is the truth.
ray of light…
Bah!
Seriously… it’s a Sunday and I’m at work because I had work related nightmares last night. I’m serious. So here I am working through ques of stuff on software that sucks and is so slow that I’ll probably be here all night.
Unfortunately I have plans. Meeting up with friends in Noon Wines this evening. It’s been a while since I’ve indulged… alcoholically I mean. I’ve been trying to quit the smokes but that is so not happening. I start off each day with the best intentions and by 11:00 am I’m screaming for a ciggy.
I’ve been talking via email with my ex-neighbour. Man, I remember as kids we’d talk outside on the balcony like thing we used to have for hours. He was in the Boys’ gang & I was in the Girls’ gang & we were supposed to be enemies. but i’d yak on about my friends and what we did or didn’t do… I totally gave him all the inside dope he needed, to perpetuate our lil warfare… But hey, he lived right next door to me and I used to watch TV at his place. When my parents went out, his folks would keep an eye on me. Actually, coming to think about it, I gossiped with his mother all the time, about school, teachers… the works! I remembered she even asked if she could adopt me… tee-hee! Enemies we never could be. He’s all grown up now and is a genius. He works for huge IT Company and teaches in his spare time. He works on the Game theory and has patents in his name. Bloody hell! He’s also mentioned in this year’s Fortune 500 people to watch out for in the top 25. Man, I feel like dirt on his shoe… But, it’s fun to remind him about how he slapped my best friend once. He’s protesting his innocence and can’t remember he did anything like that… hah!
This is going to come as a surprise to anyone who knows me well but I actually got a lil senti this teachers’ day and actually mailed 2 of my teachers wishing them. One of them is from my Christ college days and I can’t believe he remembered me straight off. I’m all thrilled…
For once my friends actually did something! Bring out the bubbly! We went out to a place that wasn’t a coffee-shop (though we started out there) and actually had fun. Sort of. Mishty insisted on not talking and spent her time sketching… but hey, this is improvement! There is a god!
Did I mention that I didn’t go into work all of last week cause I had the flu? I’m totally paying the price for it now. Sigh. I’m still a lil delicate… I spent my time sleeping and reading. I was going to buy Vikram Seth’s A Suitable Boy when I saw it lying around at my cousins’ place. I love it when that happens! So i am now on page 268 of a book with more than thousand plus pages… My plan is simple. Make book last till next salary so I don’t get bored and spend cash on other books! How cool am i?
I got new glasses!!!! They have grey frames and the straps are white. (Are they straps? The bits that go behind your ear?) Almost bought a superbly funky pair with bright orange & hot pink thingy’s but I figured they’d be a bit much…
I’m outta here.. got to go smoke and get beauty things done…
PS: Ray of light in me ears right now… yay sony ericsson walkman phones!
loved it...
loved this one too
this was... cate blanchett was mind blowing...
On a completely different note…
This friend of mine’s getting married in November… (I think) I’m so excited and I’m really not sure why. I mean, she’s a friend, a good friend from way back when I was in MCC. But we never really hung out much after we left college. I mean, I worked in the same company as her for about 6 months 2 years ago, but we hung out with different people there.
Out of the blue, I get an e-mail from her inviting me to her wedding! I’m totally psyched about it. I’m completely regretting not buying those high heels I saw… This is the kind of wedding people dress up for. Not that they don’t dress up otherwise, but this is more… I dunno, dressy somehow… was talking to the Pony Express and she’s going to be the maid of honour! That’s great, because if you are maid of honour, you can always blame the bride for a crappy dress.
This whole do is going to be classy and I wanna fit in. I’ve no clue what I’m going to do though. I cannot pull off a sari like the totally elegantly sexy thing that it is. I belong to that group of women who’s always tripping on her sari. And, who has the, ‘Ohmigosh!!! My sari’s unraveling right now’, paranoid look on her face the whole time she’s wearing a sari. Since I’m 5 ft tall, a sari means heels. I actually have this one pair of platforms that I’ve only used to wear with saris. They go with every colour of sari I have and though they’re ancient, they look brand new. I’m really not sure what it is I’m supposed to have done to them but they’re a violent pair of platforms. They eat up my feet using delicate bites and torture my calf muscles. I think they have ADD, the vicious psychotic kind. Since I only wear them with saris, they don’t really get out much. Despite all this S&M type behaviour from them, I luuurve my shoes… I’ve many happy memories on them
Also, I need a date. The only people I’d ask aren’t in the city. But… the date bit shouldn’t be too hard.
Oops! Running off for movie now…
